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Holytaco

Funny jokes, funny lists, funny videos as well as funny photos and celebrity news from around the Internet, HolyTaco.com is the funniest website on the



Holytaco  

Holytaco

2014-11-18 18:45:21
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373 

The IndyCar Experience: On the Scene at Toronto’s Honda Indy  

The temporary street circuit in Toronto has seen better days. From 1986 to 2005, it was known as the Molson Indy, after a domestic brand of Canadian beer that I don't like to drink. Attendance during the series' glory days was 60,000 to 70,000 people. This year, they'd be lucky to get more than 30,000 people.The post The IndyCar Experience: On the Scene at Toronto’s Honda Indy appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-22 05:31:40
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333 

Those Vines “Exposing” Racism at Convenience Stores are Why the Workers There Hate You  

Rashid Polo just hit the viral big time with Vines that purportedly expose convenience store racism. See, every time he walks into a bodega, employees -- who act like they're stocking and checking inventory -- follow him to ensure he doesn't steal anything. This, naturally, is because he's black, and not at all because they do that to virtually everybody.The post Those Vines “Exposing” Racism at Convenience Stores are Why the Workers There Hate You appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-20 12:50:40
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386 

Tracy McGrady’s Inspiring Story: Striking out One Guy and Then Quitting Baseball  

Immediately after recording his first strikeout, ex-NBA star Tracy McGrady retired from baseball, which means he realized the ultimate Secret American Dream: doing something right once and then quitting while on top.The post Tracy McGrady’s Inspiring Story: Striking out One Guy and Then Quitting Baseball appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-18 11:45:27
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332 

MTV’s Latest Reality Show Is About a Bunch of Losers Who Don’t Have Sex  

I'd rather eat a carafe full of army ants than watch MTV's Virgin Territory.The post MTV’s Latest Reality Show Is About a Bunch of Losers Who Don’t Have Sex appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-18 05:36:23
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276 

Your Favorite Things are Old Now. Deal.  

That pop record that defined your childhood? It's 25 years old this year! You know what else is 25 years old? Everybody born that year. That's right, everybody. 100% of the things that showed up 25 years ago are 25 years old this year: music, movies, people, animals, plants, books -- all 25 years old!The post Your Favorite Things are Old Now. Deal. appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-16 13:33:56
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378 

An Idiot’s Guide to Chicago Violence  

Almost everyone that doesn't live in Chicago is wrong about it. The post An Idiot’s Guide to Chicago Violence appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-16 08:13:23
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274 

The 22 Greatest Ohio Mugshots of All Time  

While Ohio is never going to catch up with Florida in terms of overall crazy, the Buckeye State has more than its share of insane behavior, and has the mugshots to prove it.The post The 22 Greatest Ohio Mugshots of All Time appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-16 05:22:54
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286 

Practical Advice for the Creepy Lovelorn Female Shower Head Guy  

I feel like I can offer this young man some advice on making his relationship work. Even though I've never before dated a shower head wearing nothing but a nightie and the face of Satan, I'm going to assume they're not too different from the human girls I regularly get rejected by. So Mr. Imgur Sensation, you want to make your relationship work? Here's how to do it:The post Practical Advice for the Creepy Lovelorn Female Shower Head Guy appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-16 04:30:14
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317 

Redhead of the Month: Emily Archer [32 Photos]  

Major props to Zishy for introducing us to Emily Archer (aka Emily Hayworth) a beautiful redhead model who, sadly, just announced her hiatus from modeling.The post Redhead of the Month: Emily Archer [32 Photos] appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-15 10:54:26
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989 

Please, Fellas, Enough With the “F*ck Her Right in the Pussy” Stuff Already  

It's the meme equivalent of shouting insults at someone sitting at a bus stop from the passenger seat of a moving car, and it's actually a "viral hoax campaign." Are you proud of yourselves, you idiots?The post Please, Fellas, Enough With the “F*ck Her Right in the Pussy” Stuff Already appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-15 05:42:51
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234 

Out With the Weird, In With the Angry: Why It’s Time For a Gritty Reboot of Al Yankovic  

Weird Al's shtick is more formulaic and predictable than a Taco Bell cookbook. He's that wacky uncle who won't quit cracking jokes, even when everybody else is focused on politics, war, the crumbling economy, and death, like normal folks. It's time for a new, bold direction, time for Al to don the Peter Parker black suit and and reboot himself as a dark, gritty, angry doom rocker.The post Out With the Weird, In With the Angry: Why It’s Time For a Gritty Reboot of Al Yankovic appeared first

2014-07-14 13:09:45
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243 

14 WTF Moments From The 2014 World Cup  

This year's World Cup had its fair share of utter insanity — from embarrassing dives to biting incidents — which we gazed upon in awe as soccer took over our lives for the better part of the summer. The post 14 WTF Moments From The 2014 World Cup appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-11 11:55:19
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165 

Magic’s “Rude” is the Entitled Douchebag Anthem Robin Thicke Forgot to Write  

On the surface, Magic's "Rude" is about guy who wants to marry a girl. At its heart though, lies pure selfishness. The guys asks his girlfriend's father for permission to marry his daughter. Dad says hell no, but because that wasn't the answer the singer wanted, he'll just ignore it and proceed as planned anyhow. That's a supreme dick move, no matter how much watered-down Burning Spear a guy records.The post Magic’s “Rude” is the Entitled Douchebag Anthem Robin Thicke Forgot to

2014-07-11 11:51:02
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309 

Kids Aren’t Hilariously Inappropriate. Crappy Photoshoppers Are.  

Kids being accidentally inappropriate is a curiously viral thing. These little tykes are so gosh-darn innocent, and so ludicrously bad at spelling, whenever they try to write something cute, it comes out evil, sexual, or sexually evil. Problem: every one of these is pure fiction, spread by people who are convinced children are secretly evil and really want everybody to agree with them.The post Kids Aren’t Hilariously Inappropriate. Crappy Photoshoppers Are. appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-10 13:26:31
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241 

‘Yoga Goddess’ Shows Off Her Contortion Skills, Throws Out Terrible First Pitch at Baseball Game  

Look, you know we appreciate a good sexy contortion dance, but there's a time and a place for that sort of thing — generally late at night, after my wife has gone to sleep.The post ‘Yoga Goddess’ Shows Off Her Contortion Skills, Throws Out Terrible First Pitch at Baseball Game appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-09 09:07:45
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202 

Great Failures from the Past: Mario is Missing  

Bowser kidnaps Mario, and Luigi must save him. But not by murdering everything in his path while sliding down flagpoles and gathering power-ups that Bowser really should've removed beforehand: no, he did so by walking around various real-world cities, stepping on the occasional enemy like doing so's a mere afterthought, and collecting priceless artifacts that Bowser stole just to be even more of a douchebag.The post Great Failures from the Past: Mario is Missing appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-09 01:17:18
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264 

Three Movie Premises With Even Worse Pseudoscience than “Lucy”  

No matter how good Lucy's story is, and no matter how soothing Morgan Freeman's voice may be, it all falls apart because the basic premise (we only use 10% of our brains!) is total bullshit. The writers, producers, and director have to know this, and yet gleefully ignore it because coke dealers don't accept facts as payment.The post Three Movie Premises With Even Worse Pseudoscience than “Lucy” appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-08 06:39:14
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190 

Sometimes, Shock Humor Isn’t Funny Simply Because It Sucks  

One group that never gets attention because the "take a joke" brigade and the "apologize, scum!" faction won't stop squabbling: the "that joke sucked" crowd. Sometimes, jokes just plain aren't funny -- not because they're offensive, but because they're bad. At which point, "you don't have a sense of humor" ceases to work as an excuse.The post Sometimes, Shock Humor Isn’t Funny Simply Because It Sucks appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-07 14:36:09
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417 

The Tour de France Just Started, and It’s as Pointless as Ever  

I'm genuinely confused as to why we're even bothering with the Tour de France anymore. A whole bunch of druggies get on their Huffys and ride around France until people tell them they can stop. And that's pretty much it. You can't even blame the World Cup for the lack of Tour de France coverage. You can blame the pointlessness of the Tour de France for the lack of Tour de France coverage.The post The Tour de France Just Started, and It’s as Pointless as Ever appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-06 10:44:43
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309 

Old Cell Phones Aren’t Better Than Smartphones, No Matter What Nostalgics Insist  

Androids, iPhones, and Samsungs are mainstream, and this the backlash has begun: they're too big, they don't hit in your pocket, they're fragile, those apps suck away your money, etc. People are actually braying about how much better old Nokia and Motorola bricks are, because Huey Lewis was right -- it IS hip to be square.The post Old Cell Phones Aren’t Better Than Smartphones, No Matter What Nostalgics Insist appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-06 01:41:14
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249 

Solving the LeBron James Free Agency Issue: Make Him Play Alone  

LeBron's best option is to launch the LeBron City LeBrons, hire some intern to be the mascot, and get to work. No way the King couldn't handle 48 minutes a night, 90 points, and 65 rebounds, plus it would mean all the money and rings to himself. Even Kobe can't boast that.The post Solving the LeBron James Free Agency Issue: Make Him Play Alone appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-07-03 13:51:37
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263 

4 Side Effects of Head and Shoulders Worse Than the One on Your Facebook Wall  

Head and Shoulders of any kind is not to be trusted. In fact, they probably put that viral scam video out themselves, as a way to distract us from the terrible truth hiding behind their many products. If only life were as easy as a mere ugly growth on one's shoulder.The post 4 Side Effects of Head and Shoulders Worse Than the One on Your Facebook Wall appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-30 19:37:15
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859 

The EZ Baby Saver: The Stupidest Weapon Against Leaving Kids In Hot Cars Ever  

How "colorful rubber" is supposed to equal "oh shit, that babbling ur-human I sired is getting toasty" is beyond me, and nobody can offer a decent answer. This is probably because they're too busy fawning over this supposed genius kid and his good intention invention.The post The EZ Baby Saver: The Stupidest Weapon Against Leaving Kids In Hot Cars Ever appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-28 04:35:37
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245 

Interviews with Workers Like Shane from Walmart (If They Were Actually Real)  

A series of bulletin board warnings from the exasperated manager of "Shane from Walmart" have gone viral, even though his wacky insubordination is hopelessly, transparently fake. How do we know? Here's what would happen to irreverent jesters like "Shane" in real life.The post Interviews with Workers Like Shane from Walmart (If They Were Actually Real) appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-27 08:15:30
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197 

17 Photos of Sexy Argentinian Soccer Fans  

Life is good for the people of Argentina right now. The post 17 Photos of Sexy Argentinian Soccer Fans appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-26 02:22:30
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673 

A Parapalegic Losing Part of His Penis is the Most Comically Sad Story Ever  

Meet the latest case of a guy so sad you almost have no choice but to be glad you're not him. He's anonymous, and for good reason: he's suing a Quebec hospital for botched surgery on his penis that resulted in over an inch being lost. Also, he has no legs, because God loves us all etc. etc.The post A Parapalegic Losing Part of His Penis is the Most Comically Sad Story Ever appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-25 09:37:13
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241 

Twelve-Year-Old French Boy Fakes Kidnapping, Leads Police on One-Month Investigation to Avoid Dentist  

I'm sure his chain-smoking, yellow-toothed, menage a trois-having parents are proud.The post Twelve-Year-Old French Boy Fakes Kidnapping, Leads Police on One-Month Investigation to Avoid Dentist appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-24 13:37:09
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322 

The 10 Most ‘WTF?’ Face Tattoos in Mugshots  

Two sets of bad decisions in one picture. The post The 10 Most ‘WTF?’ Face Tattoos in Mugshots appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-23 19:53:44
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230 

Christian Grey From ’50 Shades of Grey’ Has Been Revealed, And Man Is He Boring  

Pictures of the actor from 50 Shades of Grey in costume have finally been revealed. Sadly (and predictably), he's a bland, boring brunette. They could've really spiced up this stupid character, and they chose to take him plain. No salt or pepper even.The post Christian Grey From ’50 Shades of Grey’ Has Been Revealed, And Man Is He Boring appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-20 12:12:28
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225 

Today’s Must-See: Musicless Music Videos  

Did you know that when you remove the music from music videos, they become totally absurd and surreal? I mean, obviously you knew that, but here's proof.The post Today’s Must-See: Musicless Music Videos appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-20 06:10:40
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218 

Four Historically-Based Nicknames the Washington Redskins Should Consider Adopting  

Seemingly unsatisfied with the smallpox-riddled blankets and generational poverty/alcoholism we generously bestowed upon them in the past, the Native Americans are now coming after our beloved football teams. The post Four Historically-Based Nicknames the Washington Redskins Should Consider Adopting appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-20 05:30:35
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311 

18 Photos of Sexy Dutch Soccer Fans  

The host country of the 2014 FIFA World Cup might claim the sexiest soccer fans in the world, but the Netherlands fans have gotten off to a very strong start this year.The post 18 Photos of Sexy Dutch Soccer Fans appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-19 01:29:25
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395 

5 Ways Game of Thrones Could Actually Surprise Us Going Forward  

Game of Thrones has been doing the brutal death deal for four seasons now. How long can it possibly go on before people get the point and move on to something else? If HBO wants this show to actually make it to the end of the novels (whenever the fuck that is), they need to alter the recipe a bit. The post 5 Ways Game of Thrones Could Actually Surprise Us Going Forward appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-18 13:53:41
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256 

Topless Model Sophie Dalzell Thinks Her Boobs “Are More Important Than the Law,” Turns Out to Be Right  

It's like this chick is actively trying to steal the title of "World's Worst Female" away from Farrah Abraham.The post Topless Model Sophie Dalzell Thinks Her Boobs “Are More Important Than the Law,” Turns Out to Be Right appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-18 04:53:51
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137 

Sexy Female Drummers Playing Metal Covers: A Video Tribute  

There's something strangely attractive about a woman dominating the drums. Maybe it's the unbridled passion — the sheer, ecstatic fury of their performances. Maybe I just like girls with calluses on their hands.The post Sexy Female Drummers Playing Metal Covers: A Video Tribute appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-17 19:44:47
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260 

Classic Crush: 16 Photos of Author, Radio Personality, and “Golden Era” Pornstar Christy Canyon  

Check out of our favorite photos of Christy in the gallery above, and if you have a suggestion for a future installment of Classic Crush, shoot it to us on twitter @HolyTaco.The post Classic Crush: 16 Photos of Author, Radio Personality, and “Golden Era” Pornstar Christy Canyon appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-17 05:28:40
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285 

This Girl Doesn’t Look a Thing Like Elsa From ‘Frozen’. Shut Up.  

Anna Faith Carlson is taking the Internet by storm, thanks to a picture of her standing next to a cutout of Elsa, the Ice Queen from Frozen. According to the Internet, she looks exactly like Elsa, which is an amazing feat that she should be lauded and commended for apparently. Except she doesn't look like Elsa. At all.The post This Girl Doesn’t Look a Thing Like Elsa From ‘Frozen’. Shut Up. appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-16 11:49:45
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268 

Holy Taco Bad Book Club: The Mole With Poop on His Head  

"The Story of the Little Mole Who Went in Search of Whodunit" is a story about shit. A mole gets pooped on and searches for the culprit, all while learning important lessons on how every animal that poops right in front of him does so differently.The post Holy Taco Bad Book Club: The Mole With Poop on His Head appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-13 12:13:30
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298 

Nine Victims From the Friday the 13th Series Who Totally Had It Coming  

Jason Voorhees is the *real* victim here, and there must have been something those pot-smoking sexual delinquents were doing to warrant such brutal and horrific deaths at his hands...The post Nine Victims From the Friday the 13th Series Who Totally Had It Coming appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-13 10:13:40
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297 

Jemima Packington, the Asparagus Psychic [VIDEO]  

Jemima Packington is a British soothsayer who claims to be the world's only "asparamancer". Since she had to coin the term herself, we believe her. Nobody else would use stalks of asparagus to predict the damned future, but that's exactly what she does.The post Jemima Packington, the Asparagus Psychic [VIDEO] appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-13 04:41:37
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336 

Foria: The THC Sex Lube That Horny Potheads Have Been Waiting For  

Your two most favorite things in the world — finally combined! The post Foria: The THC Sex Lube That Horny Potheads Have Been Waiting For appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-13 01:17:21
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240 

Brainstorming Wacky Oreo Flavors is Harder Then You Think  

One might think coming up with wacky Oreo ideas is easy. Turns out it's actually as difficult as any other creative venture, especially when you pitch a terrible idea and Nabisco is forced to break out the Whipping Cane to teach you a lesson.The post Brainstorming Wacky Oreo Flavors is Harder Then You Think appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-12 07:47:33
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248 

Great Failures From The Past: Not Larry the Not Cable Guy  

Larry the Cable Guy used to be an ultra-cheesy early '90s standup comic named Dan Whitney. And if you thought Larry was annoying, he's actually an improvement over Dan, who might have been the unfunniest person ever. Puppies abandoned under a bridge earn more giggles than this guy.The post Great Failures From The Past: Not Larry the Not Cable Guy appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-12 05:07:29
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244 

The 2014 Naked Bike Ride Season — Everything You Need to Know  

Boobs, balls and bikes. On display for all. The post The 2014 Naked Bike Ride Season — Everything You Need to Know appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-11 11:01:54
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303 

6 Fun Things Pete Rose Should Do While Managing for a Day  

Pete Rose is managing an independent baseball team called the Bridgeport Bluefish for a day, because publicity. He should screw around and have some quick and dirty fun with his post, and here are a few ways he can do so. After all, what are they going to do, fire him?The post 6 Fun Things Pete Rose Should Do While Managing for a Day appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-11 08:50:39
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222 

Sexy Contortion Videos: Your New Fetish  

There's nothing sexier than a woman who can sit on her own head.The post Sexy Contortion Videos: Your New Fetish appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-11 08:16:38
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348 

Dear False Flaggers: Turns Out, Those Flags are EVERYWHERE  

Dear False Flag enthusiasts: you're on the right track, but you're not going far enough with their paranoia. It's not just terrorist attacks and school shootings that are set up by shady politicians to justify taking away your basement full of AK-47s. It's EVERYTHING. Your government has false-flagged your entire existence, from the moment you wake up to the moment you wake up again.The post Dear False Flaggers: Turns Out, Those Flags are EVERYWHERE appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-11 06:05:12
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210 

The First Trailer for ‘Leprechaun: Origins’ Starring the WWE’s Hornswoggle Lacks Leprechauns, a Sense of Humor  

I guess you could say that the filmmakers behind Leprechaun: Origins...are real gold diggers. (YYYYYYEAHHHH!!!!)The post The First Trailer for ‘Leprechaun: Origins’ Starring the WWE’s Hornswoggle Lacks Leprechauns, a Sense of Humor appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-10 14:58:48
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288 

We Get It. Nicolas Cage is Wacky. Enough Already  

In the beginning, Nicolas Cage being the ultimate scenery-chewing actor was pretty chuckle-worthy. But now the joke is old. He's a quirky dude who clearly isn't a fan of subtlety -- we get it. Photoshopping his You Don't Say face onto everything adds nothing to the conversation.The post We Get It. Nicolas Cage is Wacky. Enough Already appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-10 13:19:51
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279 

Unappreciated Awful: Orskog Bank’s Awkward Dance Video  

Orskog Bank, a savings bank from Sweden, has an awkwardly white music video featuring their awkwardly white employees literally dancing for their jobs. How this goofy thing has gone four years without garnering millions of hits and shares galore is beyond us.The post Unappreciated Awful: Orskog Bank’s Awkward Dance Video appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-10 05:03:17
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237 

Meet Claudia Ochoa Felix, World’s Sexiest Drug Cartel Assassin (Allegedly)  

Claudia Ochoa Felix has legs for days, ass for months, and can probably have you executed like the gringo dog you are.The post Meet Claudia Ochoa Felix, World’s Sexiest Drug Cartel Assassin (Allegedly) appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-10 03:40:28
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341 

Meet Mark Wilson, The Man Who Loves Poop More Than Life Itself [VIDEO]  

Mark Wilson's "I'm on the Pot" is a ten-minute, family-friendly ode to taking big, satisfying shits. Like an overexcited child, he REALLY wants you to know how much he loves poop and pooping. The fact that he has almost nothing to say about pooping beyond "I like it" doesn't deter him one bit.The post Meet Mark Wilson, The Man Who Loves Poop More Than Life Itself [VIDEO] appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-09 09:01:19
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260 

Local Hack Writes Fake News, About to Fool Everyone…Again  

Yet another unfunny troll's bullshit "fake news" is about to be made viral by an unquestioning Internet. State officials, and anybody else who doesn't just skim headlines and hulk smash their keyboard in pure rage, are flabbergasted as to why this keeps happening.The post Local Hack Writes Fake News, About to Fool Everyone…Again appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-09 08:40:48
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184 

Five Competitions the Miss USA Pageant Should Consider Adopting  

The excruciatingly dull fluff-fest that Miss USA has become is in need of a makeover, pun so intended, starting with the addition of a few new, more American competitions. The post Five Competitions the Miss USA Pageant Should Consider Adopting appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-09 01:33:41
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259 

Eva Andressa: Foxy or Freaky? [39 Photos]  

Eva has thighs like a prime Bo Jackson, and the bulging abs of a He-Man action figure. The question is: Are you into that sort of thing?The post Eva Andressa: Foxy or Freaky? [39 Photos] appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-08 08:03:15
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312 

Ant Man Should Stay Directorless (and Go Scriptless)  

Ant Man has no director and perhaps it never will. We feel it should stay that way, and that they should also chuck the script, cast people who know nothing of the character, and turn the film into an unorganized (and hilarious) free-for-all.The post Ant Man Should Stay Directorless (and Go Scriptless) appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-06 07:06:04
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294 

Super Bowl 50, Not Super Bowl L: Journalistic Excellence  

The NFL is ditching the Roman numbers for Super Bowl 50 because they decided Super Bowl L was too goofy-looking. Luckily, every single news site that has ever existed was right there to cover every possible angle of this breaking, world-shattering news story.The post Super Bowl 50, Not Super Bowl L: Journalistic Excellence appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-06 06:47:46
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356 

Screw Sharknado 2: The Second One, Watch Bear Force One Instead  

Instead of supporting Tara Reid's cocaine and Krispy Kreme habit when Sharknado 2 premieres in July, watch Bear Force One with your friends and thank me later. The post Screw Sharknado 2: The Second One, Watch Bear Force One Instead appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-06 02:24:43
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330 

The Failed and Forgotten Acting Career of John Wilkes Booth  

John Wilkes Booth was a famous and talented actor for a few years back in the 1860's, and then he broke his leg and just disappeared. Nobody seems to care about his fame, fortune, or scene-stealing Shakespearean performances anymore, and for the life of us, we just cannot figure out why.The post The Failed and Forgotten Acting Career of John Wilkes Booth appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-05 11:53:16
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290 

The Seven Most Ratchet Dollar Store Fights Ever [VIDEOS]  

There's a fight going down, right now, at a Dollar Store near all of you. The post The Seven Most Ratchet Dollar Store Fights Ever [VIDEOS] appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-05 10:05:03
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240 

Today in Animal Attacks: Hawk KO’s a Senior Citizen, British Man Eaten Alive by Dogs  

The animal uprising has commenced. Use your children as a protective shield. The post Today in Animal Attacks: Hawk KO’s a Senior Citizen, British Man Eaten Alive by Dogs appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-05 03:48:58
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280 

Grading 50 Cent’s Terrible Excuses for His Terrible Pitch  

50 Cent threw one of the worst pitches in baseball history a few days ago, and won't admit that he did it on purpose because his new album needs attention of any kind. Rather, he's been vomiting out dumb-ass excuse after dumb-ass excuse, each one more cringe-worthy than the last.The post Grading 50 Cent’s Terrible Excuses for His Terrible Pitch appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-05 03:10:15
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242 

Answering All Your Questions About the “Airplane Almost Hits Sunbather” Video  

Question #1: Is this just some new form of German scat porn? The post Answering All Your Questions About the “Airplane Almost Hits Sunbather” Video appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-04 19:02:23
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178 

6 Ways Rob Gronkowski Can Stop Sucking at Improv Comedy  

New England Patriots star Rob Gronkowski appeared on Who Line Is It Anyway and sucked. At the same time, he's got potential to be a better wacky improv guy later in life. He just has to follow our simple six-step guide to jockish hilarity.The post 6 Ways Rob Gronkowski Can Stop Sucking at Improv Comedy appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-04 05:49:11
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280 

Otto V, World’s Worst Rapper: Why Isn’t He Viral Yet?  

Otto V can't rap, has nothing to say, but insists he's the greatest and most revolutionary figure in hip-hop history. Is he deluded, or simply embarking on a failed quest to go viral? The only way to find out for sure is to make him go viral and see what happens.The post Otto V, World’s Worst Rapper: Why Isn’t He Viral Yet? appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-04 02:19:15
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234 

Weed Coffee? Yeah No…We’ll Take The Real Thing  

It'll never be as good as either substance on its own. The post Weed Coffee? Yeah No…We’ll Take The Real Thing appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-03 18:12:15
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271 

Gwyneth Paltrow: World’s Greatest Troll  

At first, Gwyneth Paltrow seems like a vapid, privileged, dumbass. But in actuality, she's the single greatest celebrity troll since Andy Kaufman. Her idiotic, out-of-touch outlook on her fabulous life is nothing more than inspired dialogue from the 24/7 movie that is her life.The post Gwyneth Paltrow: World’s Greatest Troll appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-03 09:26:21
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428 

Limp Bizkit’s Latest Comeback is Their Stupidest Idea Yet  

Limp Bizkit is releasing their new single on cassette only, and you have to attend one of their shows to buy it. Outdated media, and an even more outdated band, what a lovely combo. We usually don't condone giving up, but in Limp's case, we'll make an exception: GIVE IT UP, GUYS.The post Limp Bizkit’s Latest Comeback is Their Stupidest Idea Yet appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-03 07:08:22
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249 

5 Ways to Revive Breaking Bad While Keeping Walter White Dead  

Bryan Cranston just teased that Walter White might still be alive and that maybe one day, the show could come back. People are going crazy with happiness and anticipation, even though the character returning would ruin his story. Here's how to bring Walter back while keeping him very dead.The post 5 Ways to Revive Breaking Bad While Keeping Walter White Dead appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-02 10:41:20
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225 

‘Sin City: A Dame to Kill For’ and Six Other Banned Movie Posters  

The sheer suckitude of the MPAA has been well documented. In some cases, their poster-bans are justified; in others, it's just plain stupid. In all cases, though, the banning likely just made the posters more viral — which is why censorship doesn't work.The post ‘Sin City: A Dame to Kill For’ and Six Other Banned Movie Posters appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-02 09:04:28
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253 

Game of Thrones and the Most Shocking TV Deaths Ever (*SPOILER CENTRAL*)  

If you haven't watched the most recent Game of Thrones, click elsewhere! The post Game of Thrones and the Most Shocking TV Deaths Ever (*SPOILER CENTRAL*) appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-02 04:34:19
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249 

‘Milkshake’ Quoted in Scripps Spelling Bee Because Kids Love BJ Jokes  

The judge of the Scripps spelling bee responded to a request for the word "feijoada" by quoting Kelis's hit song "Milkshake". Everyone laughed and laughed and conveniently ignored how a middle-aged man just referenced blowjobs in front of a few dozen schoolchildren.The post ‘Milkshake’ Quoted in Scripps Spelling Bee Because Kids Love BJ Jokes appeared first on Holytaco.

2014-06-02 03:19:10
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302 




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