(514): Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
(1-514): exactly 16 eh??
(484): The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
(812): Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
(206): The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
(1-206): Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
(206): ...You'll thank me later.
(607): A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
(302): Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
(1-302): hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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